sbearbergman: a photo of my head and shoulders, dressed in a navy suit and bright blue shirt, face turned partly away (Default)
S Bear Bergman ([personal profile] sbearbergman) wrote2014-06-05 09:16 am

five things make a thing.

 1) Weesauce had a total meltdown this morning and I have no idea why. He was finishing his breakfast while his Abba went to get the car, because we were running a bit behind this morning. And then suddenly he shoved his feet in his Crocs and tried to run after Abba and go with him to get the car, and when I told him no he dashed off anyhow, and then back to me in reply to my stern voice, and then away again, and then back again, sobbing broken-heartedly about... missing a trip to the garage? I have no idea. Usually, even if his feelings seem really outsized in comparison to the actual thing, I can at least get a handle on what's at the root of it. This morning, no idea. 

2) I'm trying to make arrangements to teach a class someplace, and this person keeps asking for things I don't have, like a video of me teaching it or a "detailed outline," all of which seem reasonable, but this is the most specific vetting anyone has tried to do on me in a long time and I'm simply not used to it anymore. I finally  said, okay, name a few sex educators you really respect whose judgement you trust, and I'll ask whichever of them has seen me teach for a reference. I don't really know what else to do. I don't blame this person for wanting to assure herself about the fitness of presenters, I just don't really have bona fides anymore. Is problem. 

3) There's not enough coffee in the world today. I'm tired of being groggy and sluggish.

4) It's only Thursday, and I am so infuriated about the news that my head feels like it's full of bees. First this bullshit Chicago Sun Times business that Laverne Cox isn't a woman and trans people are all delusional, and then the new sex work bill proposed in Canada is a brutal hateful attack on all sex workers and their friends and families, and that's before you even count various atrocities elsewhere in the world, present and historical. 25th anniversary of Tiananmen square, which apparently some terrifying percentage of 20 year olds know nothing about. I'm so mad and scared I'm exhausted - I'm like a pinball machine that's gone TILT. Maybe this is why I can't sleep and wake up fogged out. How long can one human operate at this level of upset?

4a) I am self-medicating with rom-coms on Netflix in the background as I work. It helps a little. 

5)This weekend, we're getting a fancy convertible for free as a Klout perk, because I am a big social media blah blah, and we're taking it to Niagara Falls to ride the tourist boat and eat overpriced fried food all together as an anniversary trip. I am looking forward to a treat. 

themagdalen: (Default)

[personal profile] themagdalen 2014-06-05 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Sounds like everyone could use a little break. Hope Niagara is nice.
tigerflower: (Default)

[personal profile] tigerflower 2014-06-05 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Here's to Niagara, and a little time off, and less feeling bombarded and overwhelmed and more feeling like there is good space around you.

I am also dealing with a request to present that is involving 9000 levels of them wanting meetings and outlines and PowerPoint slides from previous related presentations and shit that I... don't have because I don't get asked for them at this point. I'm having a bit of an emotion about having to scrounge them all up, I gotta tell you.